Anxiety or anxious feelings are created by your thoughts. Your thoughts can do one of two things; either hold you back or propel you forward. Where uncertainty is concerned, it will hold you back because naturally we want to avoid anything that causes fear of the unknown. Try these strategies to break unproductive thinking patterns.
1. Verbalise out loud three things you are grateful for
When you wake up in the morning, think of three things you are grateful for and verbalise them out loud. This is a reminder of what is good in your life and starts you off on the right foot. If you verbalise it out loud it brings clarity and closes the thought
loop.
It may only be small, but above all, it’s a start in refocusing your thoughts from negative to positive and it also plants the seed of reframing your mind.
2. Stop making shit up
How many times have you gone over conversations in your head before the actual conversation takes place? You may have had a disagreement with a colleague, or an argument with your partner, perhaps it’s a conversation that needs to be had with a loved one.
You play out scenarios in your head of how the conversation will go; what you will say, what they will say, then back to you.
Before you know it, you have made a whole lot of shit up and are getting yourself worked up because of what they said to you, in your own head!
I get you need to be prepared for some conversation but stick to the facts, as soon as you start imagining conversations and interactions that haven’t happened, you are distorting reality.
3. Stop negative thoughts
How many times have you worried about something happening only to find it never happens? It’s a waste of your time and not to mention it can be mentally exhausting.
When you worry or run anxiety you will find you lean toward the ‘what if’ thinking pattern and it will be in the negative space; ‘what if I fail’, ‘what if I’m not successful’, ‘what if he doesn’t like me’?
Here’s the thing; ‘what if you pass’, ‘what if you are successful’ and ‘what if he does like you’?
Let go of the ‘what if’ and focus on the ‘what is’ because in that very moment none of the above scenarios are truer than the other, but you do get to choose if you have a negative view on life or positive one.
4. Reframe thoughts to be positive
Reframing your negative thoughts can give you another perspective in situations, it opens your mind to other possibilities you haven’t considered and allows you to see opportunities you had otherwise closed down from a limiting belief.
Let’s look at some examples:
- Statement: I’m too old.
- Reframe: Who are you comparing yourself to? People older than you have done it.
- Statement: You can’t trust men
- Reframe: There are some men you can’t trust, but there
are also men who you can trust.
- Statement: It’s going to take six years to complete my studies, it’s too long.
- Reframe: Six years down the track you can still be where you are now, or you can be six years down the track and have a degree.
We don’t always see things as they are, we see things as we are. When situations arise, you give meaning to them depending on your how you view yourself and the world around you.
5. Challenge your thoughts
We have over 50,000 thoughts a day, sounds crazy right? Obviously, the majority of those are fleeting thoughts we don’t pay attention to but what about the ones we do pay attention to?
How many of those thoughts do you question or challenge? How do you decide what ones to pay attention to and what ones to let go of? I’m guessing you haven’t thought about that until now.
If you’re running the pattern for anxiety, you’ll lean toward future thoughts with a negative outcome. Because your thoughts are internal, you don’t question them or validate if they are true, you simply let them run rampant. When this happens it becomes a problem because you are overthinking, letting the thoughts loop around unquestioned. We don’t pick up on this because our thoughts have always been with us, they come as naturally as breathing does.
Two questions to ask yourself
There are two questions you can ask yourself to challenge your thoughts. Is the thought
true and is the thought important? Let’s have a look at three scenarios.
- Statement: I’ll never meet anyone.
- Question: Is this true? No, you could meet someone tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. If the question is not true, stop the thought.
- Statement: I can’t find my favourite jacket.
- Question: Is this true? Yes
- Question: Is it important? No, stop the thought.
- Statement: My company is going to restructure, and my department is affected.
- Question: Is this true? Yes.
- Question: Is this important? Yes.
When you answer yes to both of these questions, you need to put an action into place, not sit and think about it. In this case, you may want to look at your options, update your resume, update your LinkedIn profile, start a job search profile and reach out to
Recruitment Agencies. It’s about taking control of what you do control and let go of what you don’t control.
Consistency to see change
Learning to improve your mindset, might take time and practice, but it’s definitely worth the effort because if you are consistent you will see a change.
When you change your mindset to be more positive, you create new neural connections and pathways. In other words, the old connections and pathways will eventually cease to exist and so will the negative patterns you use to run.
How different would your life be when that happens? You can start today by following the 5 steps above.
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