Born from a single thought
Hi, I am Anxiety, you may know me better as worry, over-thinking or stress. Others will know me as anxiety, social anxiety or panic attack. I am the foundation to all your fears and phobias.
I am born from a single thought; a thought that you hold on to, circling and looping in your mind. I am a relentless companion moving through life with you, for as long as you allow me to. You recognise me in your present time but I’m not from your present or even your past. I am from your future, your imagined thoughts, a fabrication of reality; a projection of your worst fears.
My true essence
My true essence is uncertainty, and this is how I exist, this is how I bond to you. You know that feeling in your chest you get, the one that feels like you’re about to run the most important race of your life, causing your heart to beat faster, your chest to tighten, your breath to shorten; that’s me, that’s my presence. I exhaust you mentally because your thoughts continue to circle, you feel like you can’t escape, restless nights thinking, sleep starts to elude you and I become your mental prison… do you recognise me now?
I am forever grateful to you, for bringing me to life, unfortunately for you I’m not the companion you would wish for. The longer I’m with you, the more intrusive I become, affecting your daily life; seconds… minutes… hours.
You believe I happen to you, that I am something external to you, but I am not. I am you, I am your creation. It may be a hard concept to grasp but please pay attention.
How I exist
1. Negative thoughts
I tinker on the verge of existence when you have that first negative thought. You hold on to it, thinking deeper and deeper still, no action in place. You don’t check in to see if the thought is important, or even true. You aren’t aware of what thoughts to pay attention to and what thoughts to let go of… now I’ve now drawn my first breath.
I may have been with you for a very long time, perhaps we’re childhood friends. Perhaps you even believe it is normal to think and feel the way you do. Some believe this is how life is… it isn’t. I am the creation of your thoughts… do you hear my voice in your head?
2. Your thoughts create your feelings
Your thoughts create feelings, most people think it’s the other way around. Humour me for a moment as I show you. Keep your mind clear and stay focused with what I’m saying, stay in the present with me.
Keeping your mind clear, try for a few seconds to be excited…
Keeping your mind clear, try for a few seconds to be excited…
Nothing right?
Now think back to a time when you were really excited, the most excited you have ever been, hold that thought. Really think about that time, remember that time and feel the feelings. Now double the feelings… focus… triple the feeling if you can. Stay there for a moment…
Do you notice the difference? Can you feel the feelings in your body?
Your thoughts consciously or unconsciously create your feelings. If you change your thoughts, you change your feelings.
3. You worry about the future
You worry about the future, even if that is only 5 minutes away. You think about the what if’s instead of the what is. There is an expectation the future will have a negative outcome and that could be as simple as ‘what if it doesn’t work’ to ‘what if I embarrass myself in front of everyone’. You don’t think ‘what if it does work’ or ‘I’m so prepared for this, everyone is going to love it’. In the face of uncertainty, you will project your worst fears.
If you don’t like flying, you will have thoughts of the plane crashing. If your child is late home, you’ll worry something terrible has happened to them, if you don’t believe you are good enough, in your mind you’ll have yourself failing and not even giving new things a go. Avoidance becomes a false sense of comfort.
Everyone has negative thoughts, the people who don’t experience anxiety simply know what thoughts to pay attention to and what ones to let go of. If you only gave air time to your positive thoughts, I would cease to exist, there would be no place for me in your world.
4. The unknown brings you discomfort
The unknown is something you will avoid, you prefer stability. A safe, welcome comfort, even if it does cause you discomfort. You’ll stay in the discomfort of a job you don’t like, because the process of finding a new one holds more discomfort and fear. You should probably be more afraid of staying and being in the same situation 5 years down the track. Are you seeing me more clearly now?
5. You like to be in control
You don’t consider what you control and what you don’t control, and you don’t consider what you are responsible for and what you aren’t responsible for.
The only thing you control is you, you can’t control anyone else or anything external to you. If you want to have an impression on someone, the best you can do is seek to influence them. The same with responsibility, you are only responsible for your behaviour and actions, not the behaviour and actions of others.
Nobody can make you feel a certain way without your permission. They don’t have that power. You get to choose our own responses and actions, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.
If you had plans with someone and they stood you up, that isn’t a reflection of you. They are responsible for their actions, you are responsible for how you respond.
6. You generalise
You think in generalised terms. Let me give you some examples of what that looks like:
Anxiety: I can’t trust anyone.
Reality: There are an estimated 8 billion people in the world and you can’t find one person to trust?
Anxiety: Why date, all men are idiots anyway.
Reality: Some men are idiots, and some aren’t. There are a lot of decent, caring and loving men out there. What are you basing your statement on and how do you decide who you should and shouldn’t date?
Anxiety: Women can’t drive.
Reality: Some women can’t drive, and some men can’t either. Both are very capable depending on their ability and experience. We aren’t born with or without a driving gene.
When you generalise, you are viewing the world through a magnifying lens and distorting reality. Listen to your words, pay attention to the intricacies of the language you use. You will hear it, now that you are aware of me.
Choose your terms
Are you starting to see me now, for all that I am and all that I am not? I am your creation and one that can be changed. As much as I love being your companion, you must move on and let me go, to live the life you choose on your terms. I am not of the real world, I exist only in your mind.
How would life be if you didn’t worry about every little thing, if your thoughts didn’t consume you, if you didn’t let fear get in the way of things you want to do and achieve. Imagine being able to switch off at night and have a good sleep. Hypnotherapy is an effective tool in helping alleviate anxiety, please get in touch if you want to know more.
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